I have a confession to make. A few weeks ago the volume on my shit-talking was loud. It became evident that I had gained some extra weight. I didn’t need a scale to confirm it—though that happened at my doctor appointment days later—because my jeans told me so. A feeling of defeat washed over me. How could I let this happen to myself?
After stewing in my negativity for about a week, I decided to take action, and to let that shit go. I identified that I hadn’t been as active in the past couple of months as my body was used to me being. Okay. I am now committed to hitting the onsite gym three times weekly because I am not one to make that a part of my daily routine—never have been. Now that I have identified two places for great walks, I go, weather permitting, on at least one of the weekend days. I have taken control of what is in my control. I also continue to be more mindful of the food I put into my body, also allowing myself to enjoy it. I have released the pressure to look a certain way and instead focus on being and feeling healthy.
I cannot say for certain if I have lost any of that extra weight, but what I can tell you is that my body feels better and I mentally feel better. There is only so much control I have over my body’s weight without dwelling on it and having it be my main focus. I have many other things I want to do and so much life I want to live. I am also a woman in my forties, for which weight can be trickier to navigate, and acknowledge that as well.
Self-love is accepting where you are
as you work towards where you want to go.
Rather than hate on my body’s changes, I will love on its strength instead. I will love how healthy it is—according to my blood work and annual doctor’s visit—and how it still moves and allows me the freedom to be a physically active participant in life. It has carried me through this far on my journey. Though I may not have the most ideal body, it is the body that works for me and the one in which I am choosing to be comfortable in. I will continue to make minor adjustments as I see fit, but I will not be harsh with my words or hard on myself for not obtaining a goal that I know is not ideal for me. I do not need to compare my body to others. The truth is, there will always be bodies that look better than mine and that’s okay.
To love myself is to accept myself. Period. If I don’t feel good about something, then I can make changes to improve, but also still accept where I am as I work towards where I want to go. This is true for my body and my mind. This is true for my entire life’s journey.
LYF 💖
REFLECTION: How can you take back control and accept where you are?